Monthly Supporters
Rearview Mirror
As I look in the rearview mirror of this last year, I see God's hand in everything. Looking at the way He has managed my journey brings clarity, joy and peace.
"Looking back, its easier to understand why He placed us in the home that He did; why He brought certain people and circumstances into and out of our lives; why He permitted difficulties and pain; why He took us to different places and put us in various jobs and careers...Looking ahead is not always so clear. Have you ever had that lost feeling when the road ahead seemed twisted, foggy, and scary? Before you move into the next year, stop and look in the rearview mirror of the year gone by, and joyfully realize that God meant it when He said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say "The Lord is my helper I will not fear" (Heb. 13:5-6). With the promise of God's presence and help in mind, you can move ahead into 2011 with the utmost confidence." -Joe Stowell
Shall not He who led me safely
Through the footsteps of this day
Lead with equal understanding
All along my future way?-Adams
God's guidance in the past gives courage for the future.
He has managed my journey by "the works of His hands" Psalm 92:4
"The works of His hands are faithful and just" Psalm 111:7
The Lord says: I will guide you along the best path for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen. You Led your people like a flock. Psalm 77:19-20
When we look back and contemplate
What we've been through this year
We'll praise You, Lord, for all You've done-
Your faithfulness is clear. -Sper
Establish the work of our hands
May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us-yes establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17
For you alone God can establish the work of our hands. It is pre-destined. You have the blue-print. You are the blue-print.
"I lost my will, in God's will and that is where I found it."
Sometimes I am trying so hard to figure things out, that I don't stop to listen. Even just trying to figure out the next right action. I get overwhelmed and bombarded by choices (all good choices) and then I don't know which one to choose. I can get so focused on wanting to do the right thing, wanting to walk in God's will, not wanting to make the wrong choice, that it hinders me from moving at all. He knows that my heart is in the right place and that all I want to do is please Him. But unfortunately one of my battles is the overwhelm and then the indecision that follows. He tells me to keep it simple, He is not a God of confusion...and yet I can make it so complicated at times.
I was obsessing about something yesterday. All I wanted to do was please the Lord and give Him my best, but I got so worried about trying to figure it out that it became an obsession. When I am worrying over and over about something, then I have taken MY will back. I have taken the wheel from Him. Hmm...I am pretty sure HE is the one that has got it, not me. The plan and purpose were all HIS to begin with-not mine. I ask, seek, knock...but I must then stop, listen, rest. Surrender. If I am trying to figure it out, that means I have not laid it at His feet.
My mom could tell I was troubled, so she grabbed my hand and started praying. It was one of the most beautiful prayers I have ever experienced. It was like a David in the psalms kind of prayer. Very real, raw, authentic, humble. It was a release; a beautiful surrender that we both did together as we came before the Lord. Where two or more are gathered...
After she closed the prayer, we were both very quiet and peaceful. With tears in our eyes. With my eyes closed I just said, "Your prayers are powerful mom, don't ever forget that"
In all humility she asked me, "how do you know?"
I replied, "Because I am alive. Because I am alive."
WoW. It was breath-taking.
"It's in your hands, it's in your hands I trust you but I don't understand. It's in your hands, it's in your hands, close my eyes and follow your plans. Trust you cuz it's all in your hands"
For you alone God can establish the work of our hands. It is pre-destined. You have the blue-print. You are the blue-print.
"I lost my will, in God's will and that is where I found it."
Sometimes I am trying so hard to figure things out, that I don't stop to listen. Even just trying to figure out the next right action. I get overwhelmed and bombarded by choices (all good choices) and then I don't know which one to choose. I can get so focused on wanting to do the right thing, wanting to walk in God's will, not wanting to make the wrong choice, that it hinders me from moving at all. He knows that my heart is in the right place and that all I want to do is please Him. But unfortunately one of my battles is the overwhelm and then the indecision that follows. He tells me to keep it simple, He is not a God of confusion...and yet I can make it so complicated at times.
I was obsessing about something yesterday. All I wanted to do was please the Lord and give Him my best, but I got so worried about trying to figure it out that it became an obsession. When I am worrying over and over about something, then I have taken MY will back. I have taken the wheel from Him. Hmm...I am pretty sure HE is the one that has got it, not me. The plan and purpose were all HIS to begin with-not mine. I ask, seek, knock...but I must then stop, listen, rest. Surrender. If I am trying to figure it out, that means I have not laid it at His feet.
My mom could tell I was troubled, so she grabbed my hand and started praying. It was one of the most beautiful prayers I have ever experienced. It was like a David in the psalms kind of prayer. Very real, raw, authentic, humble. It was a release; a beautiful surrender that we both did together as we came before the Lord. Where two or more are gathered...
After she closed the prayer, we were both very quiet and peaceful. With tears in our eyes. With my eyes closed I just said, "Your prayers are powerful mom, don't ever forget that"
In all humility she asked me, "how do you know?"
I replied, "Because I am alive. Because I am alive."
WoW. It was breath-taking.
"It's in your hands, it's in your hands I trust you but I don't understand. It's in your hands, it's in your hands, close my eyes and follow your plans. Trust you cuz it's all in your hands"
Following the leader, the leader, the leader...
From the Daily Bread:
"The three wise men followed the star. With no idea of the outcome they all took the next step by faith in the Lord. Will we trust God & follow His leading even when we face uncertainty and overwhelming circumstances? To follow the leading of God, to step out in faith & obey, is always the path we should take whenever we can't see the way."-Sper
Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves & knows the ONE who is leading. -Chambers
Master speak and make me ready,
When Thy voice is truly heard,
With obedience glad & steady
Still to follow every word. -Havergal
Love the Lord your God...obey His voice. Deut. 30:20
Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts. Psalm 95:7
"The three wise men followed the star. With no idea of the outcome they all took the next step by faith in the Lord. Will we trust God & follow His leading even when we face uncertainty and overwhelming circumstances? To follow the leading of God, to step out in faith & obey, is always the path we should take whenever we can't see the way."-Sper
Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves & knows the ONE who is leading. -Chambers
Master speak and make me ready,
When Thy voice is truly heard,
With obedience glad & steady
Still to follow every word. -Havergal
Love the Lord your God...obey His voice. Deut. 30:20
Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts. Psalm 95:7
Unexpected Moments :)
Expectations can steal us away from the moments in our life that are given to us as a gift. We might be so focused on what we think should happen or the way it should happen, that we miss what is actually happening right before our eyes. I am guilty of this for sure. I get so excited and subconsciously have these huge expectations going into a situation, that I miss out on the "unexpected moments." We are all human and most of us, if not all, have underlying expectations whether we realize it or not. The intentions are good of course, expecting the best, seeing the world through rose colored glasses...seeing the world through God's eyes. These are all good things. Unfortunately sometimes these good intentions can be turned against us when we are focusing on the expected outcome more than God's sovereignty. Good things can easily take my eyes off of the focus...the real focus; which is God. I have noticed that the real moments that have blessed me the most in my life, are often the ones that I have not seen coming/have not prepared for in any way. Because we didn't get what we expected or hoped for in the moment, we miss out on the good that we did receive from God. It is ALL good coming from Him, as He works all things together for our good.
Mom and I had a conversation about this the other day. I was feeling overwhelmed because I did not want to miss out on anything while I am here. Knowing that I only have an allotted amount of time here, I wanted to make the best of it. But this expectation was actually distracting me and overwhelming me and worrying me. I was so consumed with trying to be present that I wasn't present. Mom just kept saying, "it's the unexpected moments Mal, the unexpected moments." This is soooo true!!! I wasn't trusting in God's sovereignty. He blesses us when we least expect it and from places we might not even think of. We might not get what we want but we always get what we need. I want what I need, because He knows better than I do what I need. I always end up being blown away by those little "unexpected moments" that only He could arrange. He does it this way so that I know it is coming from HIM. If I had foreseen it, or "earned" it or even planned it, then I might not give credit where credit is due. Credit is always due to GOD. His glory always prevails. I pray to just go with God's flow today, trusting HIM in all things and keeping my eyes and heart open to the moments that He sets before me. Thank you for the unexpected moments God! In Jesus Name I pray!
Proverbs 31 woman
"she honors her husband all the days of her life" Prov. 31:12
Not just when she meets him, or when they get married and from that point on...but ALL the days. Like now. I want to be able to give my whole heart to my soulmate...to my future husband. I want to be able to say, "I only had eyes for you." My heart belonged to Jesus until I gave it to you and now it is for Jesus and YOU. One of my friends said to me about a month ago that she had been giving her heart away little by little, and not to Jesus but to crushes and dating and her plans. Constant pursuing or being pursued. God illumined this in her heart and convicted her to go back to her first love and give her heart wholly to Jesus. Progress not perfection, and everybody's journey is different. I do not want to settle for less. I want to be honoring him now and always. If he looked at the interactions I have with the guys in my life now, would it be honoring to him? Would he feel honored? I hope so, and I want to strive for this. I am not where I want to be, but I am not where I was. Keep moving forward, keep the bar high, eyes fixed on Jesus-the ultimate example, strive to be more like Him and never settle for less because HE wants the BEST for YOU!!!!
My daddy :)
Found these old pictures of my daddy...aww love it!!! Pictures really are worth a thousand words. Memories and pictures sometimes seem like all I have left of him, but his LOVE is still alive and his spirit in heaven. The memories and pictures are precious to me :-) but they don't replace or even come close to the LOVE in my heart.
Surrender
"A life of significance is most often preceded by a heart eager to surrender to God's will regardless of the cost."-DB Joe Stowell
Mary finds herself at a crossroads, when the angel Gabriel comes to her to tell her she has found favor with God and was chosen by him to birth the Son of God. She can submit to God's will and surrender all of her plans, dreams and ideas and just trust Him. Or she can continue on her merry way and go with her plans. We see that Mary does not hesitate. When facing the "devastating interruption that her pregnancy would bring to HER plans," she cheerfully and humbly accepts this honor. For she knew to whom she belonged, that her life was not her own, it was an offering of worship-a living sacrifice for her Almighty God. This does not mean that the cost was not high and the risk was not big, but she knew that "reputation is not Lord, worry is not Lord, money is not Lord..." Jesus is Lord and she follows HIM alone. "'I am the Lord's servant,' Mary answered. 'May it be to me as you have said'" Luke 1:38.
Mary finds herself at a crossroads, when the angel Gabriel comes to her to tell her she has found favor with God and was chosen by him to birth the Son of God. She can submit to God's will and surrender all of her plans, dreams and ideas and just trust Him. Or she can continue on her merry way and go with her plans. We see that Mary does not hesitate. When facing the "devastating interruption that her pregnancy would bring to HER plans," she cheerfully and humbly accepts this honor. For she knew to whom she belonged, that her life was not her own, it was an offering of worship-a living sacrifice for her Almighty God. This does not mean that the cost was not high and the risk was not big, but she knew that "reputation is not Lord, worry is not Lord, money is not Lord..." Jesus is Lord and she follows HIM alone. "'I am the Lord's servant,' Mary answered. 'May it be to me as you have said'" Luke 1:38.
Fully surrendered. Her plans and dreams laid at His feet so that she can fulfill the calling, purpose and plan that God has for her. Mary continues to inspire me daily. She replaced worry with worship. She had everything to worry about, but she chose to worship through everything. She surrendered to the assignment, and how grateful I am that she did. Nothing made logical sense, her family and friends would think she was crazy, her fiance Joseph might think she cheated or was lying, not to mention the nosy neighbors in the small town of Nazareth calling her a harlot. But she pressed on, persevered, endured for the sake of Christ. Knowing full well that this life would not be easy for her, but knowing all the more that GOD knew this life would not be easy for her and he had her back. He found favor on her. "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God" (v.30). Against all odds, she trusted and followed her Lord.
"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" Luke 1:45
Sometimes nobody else can "see it" but us and God...and that is enough, more than enough. Because then we must really rely on faith and our personal relationship with Him. Sometimes when I notice I am looking for outside circumstances or people to tell me that "I am okay" or "good enough" I realize that the only ONE who can tell me that-that really makes a difference-is God. He is the only ONE that can fill the void, calm the anxiety, and speak directly to my heart to ease the fear. His perfect love casts out all fear. No one else's love can do what His love can. In fact, just recently I was having one of those moments and feeling like I needed someone to tell me that I was okay and God just whispered in my ear that He was the only one that really counts. My mom could tell me the perfect thing over and over and it would never be enough until it came from God Himself. So I went alone into my room and just cried out to Him and let Him tell me exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes circumstances won't change and sometimes they will, but the good news is that God never changes and His love endures forever.
Leaving a memory of LOVE
Our time here, each and every minute is a gift...we are on borrowed time from God. Just went to a memorial service of a high school friend named Sam. He was born on 1-22-86 the same exact birthday as me. He would have been 25 in about about month. It took my breath away as I walked into the service and saw all these old friends from high school. The room was packed out for Sam. This says a lot about the person that he was...he loved EVERYBODY!!! No favoritism, no discrimination...just LOVE all around. He was born with a heart defect and it was actually a miracle that he even survived birth let alone 24 years of life. Sam must have been so happy to look down on us in this room full of people that he loved, that love him...knowing he brought us all together to celebrate life!!! He was all about unity, and he definitely re-united many people today.
God sends people into our lives, on our paths and on earth for a short time sometimes. These special chosen ones, are often reminders to those around them of the fragility of life. The gift of life. To cherish every moment and to LOVE LOVE LOVE. Love is the only thing that remains when our earthly bodies do not. The room was filled with love today. Accomplishments, accolades, money, "success" none of it mattered...Sam can't take any of that with him to heaven...he leaves his love behind and his spirit carries it with him always. It lives on in our hearts. I don't want to leave behind earthly riches, I want to leave behind LOVE that lasts eternally. His message was that of Jesus' message reminding us of what's really important. Giving us God's perspective more than our own. He was a light for God and was a gift to us. For 24 precious years, God shared Sam with us. : )
I pray that Sam's death moves in the hearts of those that God specifically placed in his life...reminding them of the importance of life and that the pain would draw them closer and closer to the sacred heart of Jesus. Closer and closer to HIS abounding love. IN Jesus Name I pray!
Fear- False Evidence Appearing Real
Mary replaced worry with worship. Joshua did it even though he was afraid. We will face fear, we will have worry...these are both spirits that produce feelings that want to hold us back. F.E.A.R.- False Evidence Appearing Real. "Fear is just a crutch that tries to hold us back and turn our dreams to dust, all we need to do is just TRUST."-Fireflight. Dream anyways, love anyways, speak anyways, go anyways, live anyways, DO what God is calling you to do anyways!!!! Don't lose heart, don't give up beloved! "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than the fear that stares you back right between the eyes." It is not that Joshua never felt fear so God used him; Joshua felt fear so he had to rely on God' strength even more in the face of fear. We cannot wait to not feel fear...courageous people feel fear they just do what they are being called to do anyway. Esther faced her fears and did what God was asking her to. "I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling" 1 Cor. 2:3. I can relate to Paul very much here. I feel that I God has sent me into mission fields, weak, fearful and trembling. I felt very ashamed about this fear and "not good enough" many times, but His truth revealed to me that in my fear He is all the more glorified. "so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." 1 Cor. 2:5. Often times my insecurities do make me fear men, but my reverence for God and His holiness far outweighs this earthly fear. I put no confidence in the flesh and I shall boast of my weaknesses so that my God gets all the glory and His strength is known to all. "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong"(v.27). I hold on to this hope and truth. Not perfectly...but it's progress not perfection. Not perfect, just forgiven-as Matt always says. : )
Fear is going to try to keep us from having the victory. I will not fear, because God is with me. He is greater than anything that comes against us.
Whatever you are lacking, God will be that for you. In fact, the more you lack, the more His power rests upon you and is glorified in you. "No matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ" 2 Cor. 1:20.
"God is telling Joshua, 'You are not going to get where your going, unless you make God's word the focal point of your life'"-Joyce Meyer. My friend Liz explained it like a ballerina who must keep her spot to stay balanced while spinning. Her eyes must stayed fixed on her spot in order to stay balanced and accomplish the goal/task at hand. It gives me peace of mind to know that others have questions and concerns and even worry. "The people were waiting expectantly and were all wondering in their hearts" Luke 3:15. It is normal, and that awareness will help us in the fight against darkness. They can be used against us as distractions, so it is very important to be conscious of the movements of our heart and mind. Hold captive every thought and make it obedient/in right alignment with God's word. If we are not conscious of these movements, it is much harder to dispel the lies and fears...they become white noise in the background...leading to oppression. Keep our eyes fixed on the prize. "Run in such a way to get the prize...Therefor I do not run like a man running aimlessly" 1 Cor. 9:24, 26.
I thank God for His truth and His word; without it I would be lost, a slave to my unsteady feelings. I long to be more and more of a slave to His Holy Spirit...in His freedom I will live. I continue on, running this race, not for me, but for my Father and what He has willed. What an honor to be a part of His plans and His purpose. That He would entrust even a little to me, blows me away. Mary and David both thanked God, He knew them as they were...through and through. Searching the heart and mind and soul for every anxious thought and offensive way, and yet He called them a "somebody." Luke 1:48 (Mary) and 1 Chronicles 17:17 (David) WOW! Brings me to tears.
Advent
During this season of Advent I want to carve out extra extra quiet time to prepare my heart, be attentive as I work actively for His coming in my heart. Invite the sacred into your life. Make time and space for a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. It's not about piling more tasks on our Christmas to-do list. It's about giving ourselves and others permission to love God in a renewed way. This is a compilation of several different books, and sources I have been reading about Advent season as well as some verses the Lord has illumined to me. "Deep calls to deep" Psalm42:7. "Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me." Psalm 43:3
Time in His presence is irreplaceable; He is the source of our impact in & on the world.
An angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream (Matt.1:18)...We discover in all five dreams that obeying God's will takes courage, dedication, and real love for people and the mission God has placed in our care. Mary and Joseph obeyed God's will, and so must we.
Instead of shouting to us from the sky in frustrated anger, our God knows how to quietly and gently show up even in the earthquakes, winds and fired of our lives. In response to our noisy frantic, self-exhausting ways, our Lord say, "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
The prophet Elijah experienced the voice and gentle touch of God at one of the lowest moments of his life. Exhausted by his efforts to run from the death threats of Jezebel, queen of Israel, Elijah came to the point of feeling so alone and so disillusioned that he wanted to die 1 Kings 19:4. Those feelings of despair, however gave God an opportunity to show His wisdom.
First strengthening him physically...The Lord renewed His servant's physical strength by giving him sleep, food, and water (19:5-8). Then God renewed Elijah's spiritual perspective by speaking to him not in a howling wind but in a "gentle whisper" (19:9-12).
What Elijah heard in the calmness of God's voice was also experienced by other men and women. Troubled people like Abraham, Job, Ruth, Rahab, Joseph, and Paul all discovered that even in their worst problems, God was gently using the voice of His wisdom to get their attention, surrender and trust. Agur is quoted by readers of Proverbs as an exceptionally wise man (30:8-9). Agur, however, had a different view of himself. Overwhelmed by how foolish he felt in the presence of his Creator, Agur wrote "Surely I am more stupid than any man, and do not have understanding. I neither learned wisdom nor have knowledge of the Holy One" Prov. 30:2-3. He felt clueless in his own understanding after listening to what his Creator was quietly saying to him.
By seeing and admitting what he couldn't understand on his own, Agur came to the place of wanting to treasure every word of God more than his own understanding (Prov. 30:5-6). So the wise man prayed, "Two things I request of You (deprive me not before I die): Remove falsehood and lies from me; give me neither poverty nor riches-feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You and say 'Who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God" Prov. 30:7-9.
By reminding us that we are not our own, Agur brings the wisdom of the where we stand in relation to our own Owner, Provider, Protector.
Only Hope! : )
There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.
So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.
Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my DREAMS are so far
Sing to me of the PLANS that you have for me over again.
So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.
I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.
So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.
So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.
Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my DREAMS are so far
Sing to me of the PLANS that you have for me over again.
So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.
I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.
So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.
Convo's with God
A window is open in the heavenlies that will present extraordinary opportunities to re-organize and simplify a current situation. It won't be the end of the world to miss this opportunity, but it would be to your advantage to respond affirmatively. Don't be afraid to take the steps necessary to make these changes, says the Lord.
2 Corinthians 8:10-11 And in this I give advice: It is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have.
"Whatever is on your heart, go and do it; God is with you." 1 Chron. 17:2
In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God
2 Corinthians 8:10-11 And in this I give advice: It is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have.
"Whatever is on your heart, go and do it; God is with you." 1 Chron. 17:2
In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God
"I give you the land...
this is your inheritance;
Even though you're not much...
this is your inheritance;
Even though you're not much...
a few straggling strangers." 20-22
They wandered from country to country,
camped out in one kingdom after another;
But HE didn't let anyone push them around,
he stood up for them against bully-kings:
"Don't you dare touch my anointed ones,
don't lay a hand on my prophets."
23-27 Sing to God, everyone and everything!
Get out his salvation news every day!
But HE didn't let anyone push them around,
he stood up for them against bully-kings:
"Don't you dare touch my anointed ones,
don't lay a hand on my prophets."
23-27 Sing to God, everyone and everything!
Get out his salvation news every day!
Shout Bravo! to his famous Name,
lift high an offering and enter his presence!
Stand resplendent in his robes of holiness!
30-33 God is serious business, take him seriously.
lift high an offering and enter his presence!
Stand resplendent in his robes of holiness!
30-33 God is serious business, take him seriously.
1 Chronicles 16
Keep listening to HIS voice. "In quiet and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15
silver boxes!
The words we speak are powerful. They carry life or death. Words of encouragement, affirmation, validation...are like beautiful silver boxes under the Christmas tree!!!! My mom just gave me a dozen silver boxes!!!!
: ) Just to come alongside someone in their journey, struggle, persecution, trial...to be a witness in the case against them. God is our witness but He also sends us witnesses that come alongside us. Our adversary will never win the case against us. It is written! In Jesus Name! They overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. Thank you to the witnesses that testify in YOUR name!
Mercy
He put this hole in us, this void for a reason. So that we would crave more. More than this world has to offer. I love God more than I love this world. "If I find in myself, desires nothing in this world can satisfy. I can only conclude that I, I was not made for here." A leader is someone who is not content just staying where they are at...meaning, they want to be continually moving forward, growing, maturing, challenging themselves. Constantly looking for opportunities and ways to glorify the Lord. Sometimes that hole in us-that is aching, is a way that God puts fuel to the fire of our hearts. He sets our hearts ablaze, burning for what His heart burns for. I have been praying for quite some time that the Lord would continue to break my heart for what breaks His.
The other night I took a spiritual gifts test at Highlands. #3 was Mercy. Hmm...I think that is answered prayer!!! The gift of mercy breaks my heart for what breaks His. Wow! So thankful for this gift, it is not mine, I do not own it...it is just on loan to me for however long the Lord allots. I pray to cultivate it and nurture and grow it. He entrusted it to me-even if just for today. All the hardships and heart-breaks I have walked through...all along have been the makings of the gift of mercy in this earthly vessel. Gratitude!!! Then I realized that my great-grandmother's name was Mercy. I have always had this fascination with grandma Mercy. I have just heard some amazing stories about her life and her heart. She may have been the beginning of the salvation lineage in my family...not sure. But I know for sure she had a HUGE part in it. Thank you Grandma Mercy for believing...and passing that along. Her descendants shall be blessed for many generations because she believed. "Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness" Gen. 15:6. Mercy. "The promise comes by faith" Romans 4:16.
Reasons to Give Thanks!!!
Well I guess God did not want me to take my blessings for granted so He put me in a situation where I would have no choice but to truly, humbly give HIM so much thanks and praise!!! I got locked out of my house on Thanksgiving morning. No spare key, no car keys, no roommate (out of town), no wallet...nothing. Had not even taken a shower yet...was just going for a nice morning walk. Once I realized I was locked out I looked under ever pot, nook and cranny of the house that I could find. Nothing. I went through other people's backyards to get to my backyard, only to find...nothing. No key, no way in. I went back to the front porch and just sat down and cried. I cried out to God. I remembered reading in one of my daily devotional readings, that 'when you are in a tight spot, to call out to God and also speak forth that you trust Him to come through for you.' So I said out loud "God I trust you. I trust that you will never leave me or forsake me, it is written, you said! I trust that you will make a way where there is no way. I trust that you will turn this around and use this for good, for you glory. I trust that you will get be safe and sound and back into my house. Lord I trust you. I am your daughter in Jesus Name" Then I cried a little more after making more phone calls to Jaime's friends and my mom. Right before I was about to call a locksmith, which surely would be expensive and timely on Thanksgiving Day...my neighbor walked out to take the trash out. Having never really met him before, I hesitated to say anything, but my heart tugged at me. So I just threw it out there. "Is there any chance you know how to break into a house?" "Why yes!" He said cheerfully...ready to come to the rescue! I was shocked and wasn't sure I could believe it until I saw it..but that's what faith is, so I believed. He grabbed something (a secret between him and I now) and he showed me how to break in. I guess he's gotten locked out a couple times, so he knew exactly what to do. It was simple. God keeps is simple yet it is a miracle all at the same time. WOW! The door pops open and tears of JOY just stream down my face. I hugged him and thanked him profusely. I also thanked Jesus profusely. I am giving HIM all my thanks!!!!! WOW! He will put you in a place where all you can do is sing His praises and offer up true pure-hearted thanksgiving to Him. And so I am!
He was the only one that could have really saved me from all this...not my mom, not my roommate or her friends...at the end of the day, prayer was the answer. It is the ONE thing that changes everything!!!!! He is the answer always, He can do all things. With man it is impossible but with God all things are possible!!!! He proves it time and time again!!!!
Mailman for God : )
If you look at someone and think to yourself, surely that person does not need encouragement, reassurance or extra love...chances are that-that person needs it the most. We are God's hands and feet, and His love is made perfect in us...so His reassurance and love and grace messages often times come in the form of a human being (vessel) around us. Are you available and sensitive to His spirit calling you to let HIM speak and love through you? Don't ever look at anyone and think, "Oh they already know how great they are, or they totally know how much God loves them." Don't judge a book by it's cover. Some of the most "confident, happy, outgoing" people are the one's that need it the most. You never know what is behind that smile. Why not take the leap and love them MORE, encourage them MORE...what's the worst that could happen?
All I know is that the Lord has spoken to me through other people, and I thank God that those people were listening to His voice and were obedient to that calling. Since God's power is in our weakness, the one's that seem "powerful" may just be the most weak-as you are seeing HIS power shine through them. He does this so that we would not boast of anything or think that the power is coming from us; He gets all the glory. You never know what that one text message, call, letter, hug...etc means-especially when it is hand delivered from the Lord through YOU. The words we speak over someone can carry life and hope to them at a most dire moment. Not flattery, but a sincere word of encouragement spoken in Truth with a pure heart. God promises to meet His children's needs, and you just may be the UPS carrier today!
Reflect and Respond
This ministered to me so much this morning, from a book I am reading right now about ministry and true freedom from bondage
"If emotions can be teachers sent from God, it is perhaps the family of feelings around sadness-loneliness, hurt, discouragement, depression...that are the greatest teachers of all"
As I thought about my response to a request on the phone, I became aware I said yes because I didn't want to appear selfish. I can value myself enough to say, '[No.] I want and need _________.' Fill in the blank. 'Henri Nouwen once remarked that we ought to spend 50 percent of our time living our lives and the other 50 percent reflecting on what is being lived. Thinking is an ability given solely to human beings made in God's image. This gift enables us to respond to our feelings thoughtfully rather than to react hastily. We are to feel our feelings, but we are not always to follow them. The writer of Proverbs states, "Desire without knowledge is not good-how much more will hasty feet miss the way'" Prov.14:8
"One way to develop awareness of feelings is to keep a journal. This was a foundational discipline for me as I began to exercise long dormant 'feeling' muscles. Three to four times a week, I paused to reflect on the feelings I had experienced that day. During those 'feeling' workouts in my journal, I began to strengthen my awareness of what I was truly feeling. Over time, I got better at identifying my feelings in the moment so I didn't have to wait until later to acknowledge and express them. I also experienced greater freedom and peace from inner turmoil bc I was no longer suppressing or devaluing myself"(111)
"I paid attention to what was happening in the movements of my heart, revealing where I was depending on the approval of people for my value and worth instead of God's all-encompassing love"(109) Examining the root of our fears is important spiritual work. Fears about our value, worth, and lovability surface that are crucial for our transformation into the love and freedom God longs to grant us...We are not to deny our fears. In fact God invites us to identify them" and move through them with His power(106-7)
God is definitely putting me through the fire! I consider this pure JOY that cannot be stolen from me! The Joy of the Lord is my strength and I hold on to that!!! One day at a time. Discernment is one of the hardest for me! I am really trying to hone in and get quiet and listen to His still small voice. I want His direction and HIS path. There are thousands of options all the time, and my heart wants to do them all...but the enemy warps that by trying to get me to "over-function." So I am dying to the flesh -people-pleasing, approval addiction and learning what TRUE freedom in Christ is."Scripture...considers grieving losses as central to our spiritual growth"It is a painful process and sometimes feels like a death...I have to mourn over it...mourn over that part of my "identity" as I die to that and am found NEW in His identity. He is refining, purifying and strengthening me for whatever is next. I am learning who Malorie really is...without all that other stuff that used to define, control and imprison me. I am realizing that one of my biggest ministry's is my recovery program...God is having me mentor a few girls and that has been amazing! I know it'll all tie together. Design=destiny...how we are designed, illumines our destiny.
Joyfully Ever After!
You know how when you are in love with someone they see the best in you and you see the best in them? They see you in a way that no one else sees you-as they accept the good bad and ugly all as beautiful qualities about you. Well this is the way that God sees you when He looks at you. Fearfully and Wonderfully made...created in His image. Joyfully Ever After! : )
I pray that when you look in the mirror you see God, as you bear His image. His glory is in you and His reflection shines through you...
I pray that when you look in the mirror you see God, as you bear His image. His glory is in you and His reflection shines through you...
Blessed are the pure of heart, they shall SEE God. Greater is HE that is within you than he that is in the world. You are a carrier of His Almighty presence. He dwells within your sacred heart.
"God is within her she will not fall; God will help her at break of day" Psalm 46:5
"The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord." Psalm 45:11
Some truths that say it better than I can
Obedience always requires sacrifice, but sacrifice is not always obedience.
Be willing to walk in obedience...setting the boundary and risking everything but in the end gaining your soul. You might lose the friendship, job, reputation or approval...but God anoints obedience. Though it may take some time, after you have suffered a little while, God Himself will restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise. 2 Peter 3:9.
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God- Romans 8:14(NIV)
"I need to love to be in harmony with my family. I need to love to keep myself surrounded by friends. I even need to love to work my job! How important it is to love and to live at peace with everyone!"
"This arrow pierced my heart so deeply that the walls of my heart became impenetrable. I've not allowed this wound to be touched for many, many years. God has shown me that because of the defensiveness I buried my truly feminine heart which longs so deeply to be pursued and fought for, to be seen as beautiful. Risk being vulnerable once again...stand now in this risky place of vulnerability with a bleeding heart waiting and praying. Every day I must choose to lay down my defensiveness...allowing God to be my Strength and my Defender. He told me that I didn't need to defend myself anymore, that was his job, he is my Defender and Advocate."-Captivating
Softening my heart and gently tending its wounds will protect me. Building a fortress and defending myself behind it will only make me more vulnerable.-Captivating
The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but not its end.
"The Bible opens and closes with a wedding."- Selwyn Hughes
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, thy consolations delight my soul.-Psalm 94:19(NASB)
For those who wait
Habakkuk 2:2-3 (CEV)
Then the LORD told me:
"I will give you my message
in the form of a vision [dream]
Write it clearly enough
to be read at a glance.
At the time I have decided,
my words will come true.
You can trust what I say
about the future.
It may take a long time,
but keep on waiting--
it will happen!
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2:2b-3 (The Message)
"This vision-message is a witness
pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.
It's on its way. It will come right on time.
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Habakkuk 2:3 Though he linger, wait for him (NIV)
fun quotes and stuff : )
'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends...... B1.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..
One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
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Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.
Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
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