Recently, Focus On The Family, with Dr James Dobson, aired a portion of a talk I gave on The Revolve Tour about my struggle with an eating disorder. Honestly, I never listen to myself speaking. So, I went to the website and listened to the podcast. To hear myself recount my past struggles was more difficult than I had imagined. Immediately I was transported back to that place of brokenness and desperation. I didn’t realize that hearing the truth I was sharing would still hurt so deeply and make me realize that many of those insecurities still haunt me.
I am so grateful that I no longer struggle with an eating disorder and have found healing from that. But I still battle many insecurities, some that plague me everyday. That’s why it is so important to continually renew my mind with God’s truth. It’s His truth, and only that truth, that sets us free. While listening, I was also reminded how easy it is to begin to rely on our own strength. When in the desperate place, it’s easy for me to realize my need for God. It’s in the not-so-desperate place that the danger of self-reliance creeps in. Hearing my own story reminded me that in brokenness, Jesus does his best work.
What is your brokenness? What is your fear? What are you working so hard to camouflage? Embrace it and watch Jesus take the pieces and make an incredible work of art. And as you do, and the things that weigh you down become lighter, never forget the great Artist who did the work.
I didn’t know it would hurt to listen to this podcast today. But the hurt was so worth it, because it reminded me of the healing.
Broken and Beautiful,
Q: Did you ever struggle with your eating disorder again?
Grant: Yes, even though I've never done it again. It's like I'm talking about an alcoholic, in the sense that I don't think you're ever fully delivered from that. I don't struggle with doing it at all, because I've matured past that, with the help of the Lord and my family and others. But I don't think I'm ever going to be one of those people who says, "God fully delivered me and now life is awesome and I don't ever even think about it," because that's not honest.
Natalie Playlist : )