It is the anniversary of my dad's death...17 years ago on Labor Day weekend. It is always a sad time for me, but I am accepting the new season in my relationship with God -as my Father. This is a good time of reflection to honor Martin McKenna. I can't believe that the guitar my dad left behind was and is truly meant for me. Now as I write and play and sing songs over his life, celebrating His life...a special piece of him is unlocking these melodies hidden in my heart. It is hard to be so far from home this weekend...I would love to go to his grave and leave flowers. But that is just his earthly body...his spirit is still with me. It is an ever-present guardian and warring angel...I am convinced of this. I talk to him often...not as much as I talk to God, but quite a lot. I used to feel really stupid when I would still cry about my dad...years after his death. Thinking to myself "you are a big girl now, its been a long time, you should be over it by now." This is wrong thinking, deceptive in fact. For God wants me to continue the mourning process as long as I live, until I am reunited with my father in heaven. He wants to keep my heart soft and connected to my dad, for our relationship is far from over...in fact, it will continue in heaven for eternity. It should also continue as I am on earth. God does not want my heart to harden and forget...no no. I will celebrate and honor my father's life by staying connected to him, continuing to love him as God keeps my heart soft.
Meanwhile it has been super busy. Last night was the second Unashamed college ministry in Tuscaloosa, and Tuesday night was the Basement's big service. Both were incredible! I feel so blessed to be a part of this family and ministry. Tuesday was long as I arrived around 5 to help and didn't leave until around 10:30 and last night got home around midnight. It is so worth it though and it always is! I got to be on the frontline of worship both nights, which totally restored and rejuvenated my strength and energy. The presence of the Lord is my refuge, where I find peace and the only place I feel whole. Things are gearing up to be even busier around here as Unashamed Birmingham kicks-off on tuesday night, Prayer Bible study on tuesday afternoons, so excited about small groups on wednesday evenings and sunday evening at Mountain Top, Unashamed Tuscaloosa on thursdays, meeting saturday mornings, sunday morning church. Linda and I have some exciting BIG projects we're working on and now Connie as well. WOW! God is giving me a full life and doing a major shift in my routine, which is exciting for me! He always shifts things right in His perfect timing, when He knows I am ready and He has hidden me and equipped me for the next season of my life. Lots of healing has been going on within me...more than I can even explain. Let's just say that God can do anything and heal any wound from your past and completely transform and reshape your heart for His glory. Incredible! I have to do the footwork though, I cannot just sit around and wait for Him to heal me. There are actions and spirit led steps that He guides me and shows me and when I obey, my life and my heart are forever changed...more like His Son. That's the goal, until my work on Earth is done. : )