I got second & third degree burns last week...they are hidden under clothing, other people do not see them, but I can feel them & they more painful than I could have imagined. This almost took me out of commission completely as far as being able to do the things I usually do. The things I oft take for granted. But did it take me out of commission for God? No Way! Never!!! In fact in my weakness He is super strong! He uses me even more in my trials and pain. He also uses it to cultivate a very specific empathy and understanding that I would not have had without the pain. Humility is not a lesson that you can learn from a book. Only God can teach you that lesson, one on one, through testing and through pain. Consider it pure JOY. I am not saying that God wanted me to get burnt, but I am saying that He allowed it. He is and does use everything for good. How else is He going to make us more into the likeness of Himself? We can use everything we experience as a teacher. Yesterday is todays pupil. God is the Divine teacher.
I am not going to say it was not hard, especially not the first couple of days. Yes, I complained and felt sorry for myself...but then God helped me to snap out of it. He would only allow it for an hour or so and then He would show me how He was using this for good. My perception started changing, deep within my heart. Only God could do that. No matter what anyone said to me, or even I said to me...He is the only one that can change & shape & move in our hearts like nothing else can. I took this experience as a time for more prayer, more worship, more gentle self-care, more reading and writing, more fellowship in different ways. I had time to work on mission media stuff with the Basement. It truly is a blessing in disguise. It humbled me on so many levels. Talk about surrender and powerlessness. I am powerless because I am not God. He is the power, ALL power. He gives me power and authority through and with Him, but He is supreme sovereign authority. He is the alpha, omega, first and last. Nothing is out of control because God is always in control. I am so grateful for this last week. Even my perception toward my body. Accepting and receiving God’s unconditional love for me, which is endlessly & always available. He does not see outward appearance as man does, He see’s the heart. He has been doing a holy open heart sanctifying surgery...”I know the Spirit is purging me of everything that is hurting me.”
My life verse is in action again...”What was intended to destroy me, God is using for good for the saving of many”-Gen. 50:20. My body is a living sacrifice of praise and worship to the Lord and for His holy purposes...Seen & unseen.