Growing up, I based my worth off of performing well. Getting good grades, singing in the talent shows, getting the lead roles in the musicals, being in every club and choir, wearing pretty outfits. I tried so hard to fit in and get approval, by constantly people pleasing. This set me up to be on a wild roller-coaster ride of emotions, and ups and downs. "Exhausted. Discouraged. Alienated. Unstable. Unhelpful. Afraid. Ashamed. Shaky. No, I haven’t been spying on you! These are simply the modifiers that describe what our life with God feels like when we base it on our performance."
Perfectionism and performance are often rooted in shame, and if they aren’t addressed, they drive us to unhealthy behavior. She had to live with a sense that anything she did would never be enough, as well as a fear Hosea might now reject her because of things she left undone.
The new and improved Gomer couldn’t afford to be anything less than completely dedicated, committed, and virtuous. Yet until she fully accepted the gift of grace that had been given to her, she would struggle to forgive herself and move on. Until she became comfortable in her own skin as one fully loved yesterday, today, and tomorrow, she’d keep running on empty like so many of us.
"The more we see ourselves as God sees us, the more we will act the way God desires for us to act."
"Experientially, I still fail...Yet positionally, I’m a saint. I’m forgiven and made right by the grace of God."
GRACE is the undeserved, unmerited LOVE of GOD! Unconditional. Not based on performance or works. Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear, twas GRACE my fears relieved. One day at a time, we don't have to live any longer trying to prove ourselves to others. This is something my heart needs to hear on an hourly basis. The Gospel the Good news! Receiving the weight of HIS grace and that Jesus truly paid it all. It is not- Jesus paid it all and then you go earn and strive the rest. No He did the rest. He did what we could not, and could never do. Through Him we are the righteousness of God. Through Him we have access to God and a personal relationship with Him. But more than that He took our shame and sin and every heavy burden, He carried it all, nailing it to the cross to set us FREE. Because HE LOVES us. No more slavery, not bound to man. He gives us a new identity in Christ. All He wants is our hearts. "Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart Lord, take a seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above."