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Pastor Ben's Birthday & My City Service Project

Celebrating my Revival Group Pastor's Birthday (Click link to watch video of us)


I finally picked my top 5 choices (out of about 75 amazing options) for my CITYSERVICE project. As students at Bethel, we get the opportunity to serve the community of Redding and all the surrounding cities -- in hospitals, homeless shelters, retirement homes, rehabs, sex-trafficking cultures and environments, women's shelters, churches, and even just in the local businesses and streets of town and SO much more.  I wanted to do them ALL to be honest!  But I know God knows which one He can best utilize my time, talents and service in each week. I am so excited to see HIM move through us, as we serve with His love, and get to be His hands and feet united together in Christ for the sake of the world.  (my top five choices pictured below) Jesus we trust You!  Place me where you want me, send me where I can be used most by You! You know best Father God :)








Nabeel Qureshi

GOD mightily used Nabeel Qureshi!!! What a pure, beautiful heart for Jesus! 


Twin View - God Stories - Week Two

So at my church service (Twin View campus) last Sunday, The Holy Spirit was showing & reminding me of this very significant memory I had with my earthly father, when I was five years old. He took me to Disneyland a few times-- that was our favorite vacation  So as God illuminated the memory, I remember how little I felt in this HUGE sea of people. I would get bumped and knocked over sometimes as I was walking through with my dad. So he would pick me up and put me on his shoulders. I felt like I was his princess up there, and no one could mess with me. I felt secure, protected and loved on dad's shoulders. He was 6.2" after all so I was pretty high and mighty up there  Then he set me back down to walk alongside him and he told me to put my little hands on my hips, elbows out, so that I would walk like a big, strong, tall girl-- and then people would SEE me and not run me over like I was invisible. So I tried walking around like this for a while but my dad kept noticing I was still getting bumped nonstop-- he watched closer only to see that I was bending and moving my elbows back and forth every-time someone would walk by. He said, "Pumpkin, you gotta keep your arms out real strong, you can do it!" I tried but I kept bending to other's around me. Apparently I thought their needs, and their space, were more important than my own. I thought my little five year self was not worthy to take up the little space I was taking up. So then Holy Spirit showed me how Father God has placed me on His shoulders and I am His princess and no one can mess. That He wants me to walk with authority and own the ground I am standing over, holding my elbows out (figuratively speaking)-- knowing that I am worthy of the space I am occupying. Knowing I am not invisible. That I am seen and known so deeply by Him. It's like I saw Him swoop me up on His shoulders and show me the view, security, safety and perfect love from His vantage point. Lifted high on His shoulders nothing can touch us guys! Then He set me back down and showed me how to walk it out. In His strength and with His presence. As if that wasn't healing enough. I get into worship today (totally getting ROCKED by HIS presence) and then the fourth song in - she starts spontaneously singing, "send your comfort Father. Oh You lift us up on your shoulders, Father- You lift us up on your shoulders. We are safe on Your shoulders"    Doooooooood! Really GOD?!?! AHH! You can imagine the JOY that hit me as I felt SO known and loved, SO intimately by my perfect Father in heaven. There was jumping, dancing, shouting - and a bottle full of tears poured out at His feet. Can't help but share how He is annihilating me with HIS LOVE! I wanna hear some of your awe-mazing testimonies! I know it takes courage to share! For some more than others.  You got this! You are up on Daddy's shoulders!



In other news:  Me and my roomies are silly and I love them :) 

video




This is my school!

It was an incredible first week at school.  I am overwhelmed by God's goodness, love, mercy, transformative power, PRESENCE, community!  Just finished my first book report and doing my daily Bible readings and starting two new books today.  I can't believe I get to study God's Word and dive into the MORE of HIM for school?!? Homework is fun for the first time in a long time if that makes sense haha!  God is challenging every part of my life -- so are my revival group interns and my pastor and roommates and classmates as they all pull the best out me and don't let me stay stuck in comforts, fears, failures.  Seeing me through God's eyes and reflecting that back to me.  Opening up the expanse of all God is and has.  I love who I am running this race with already and cannot wait to get to know them even more as we continue this wild adventure with Jesus.  I could write a novel of all the miracles and God stories -- He has done SO much in such a short time, I can't even imagine what a couple months, let alone nine months will behold.  I am treasuring it up in my heart and riding the wave of His Holy Spirit as He renews and transforms and sanctifies.  And yes I am journaling as much as I can in between classes, worship, homework and life.  I literally just jot down every and any big and small intimate, beautiful work He is doing in and around me. Awe-struck by our amazing Father.  My roommate and I were looking over missions trips yesterday in between writing and we are SO excited about where God could send us this season and use us!  Prayers and support are SO appreciated!  Love you all so much!
xoxox Thank you SO much!  It means the world to me!

Shout-out to my Grandparents for the care package of toothpaste and tea and toilet paper they sent me to Redding with :) Those things add up so fast when you are a full-time student.  And for help with the incredible mattress as a house-warming gift!  I feel like royalty sleeping on it.  Never had such a nice mattress.  Feeling so blessed and grateful! I LOVE you guys!

This is my school!!! SO humbled, blessed and thankful!



First Day Of School- BETHEL



🔥🔥🔥🔥 Day one feels like Day wonderful thousand and two. God is so expansive, abounding and infinite. So much in such a short time. Utterly transformative already and haven't even been here a week. Cannot even imagine what's going to happen in one year. Buckling up. Free falling. Running spinning jumping into open fields. Twirling and dancing around victoriously in my Father's proud love. Feeling His delight over me as He redefines all I once knew and held to be true about me and what I thought I saw; He gives me His eyes to see in me. Risking it all. Losing it all to find it. No more performing, just being. Letting the weird, wacky, spunky, fun, funky, just flow in the freedom and liberty of the Spirit. Totally safe, absolutely secure. 100% known. Intimately loved. Embraced. Permission to come apart; and boldly step into all He has called me to be. Not invisible, completely seen and heard. So much overflow of His extravagant love - a wellspring gushing out of me like a river of grace. #bssm2017 #benwilsonrg #bssm#dayone #bethel @benwils


Partner With Me In order to go to BSSM I need partners…which means I need you! I would love it if each and every one of you would take some time to pray and ask the Lord if you feel lead to partner with me, and if so, what that would look like. If you do want to partner with me I would love love love to connect with you, whether that be in person, over coffee, FaceTime, Skype or over the phone to be able to share more of what God has put on my heart for vision for the next season and sending me to Bethel's College!   I will need to fundraise a total of $10,000 for my international missions trip with the school and also towards my tuition, books, room and board expenses and passport renewal.  Everyone who donates will receive a personalized 3-5 song cd from me by the end of summer 2018 as a gift and thank you for contributing to my college / ministry education and dream; as well as sowing into God's Kingdom and my mission trip with school to help spread the Gospel!  

Help spread the Word!


 




Mal Goes to Bethel College...Partner with me in prayer and more




Here am I! Send me-Isaiah 6:8 Just knew I had to follow, get out of the boat. Keep my eyes on Him not the storm. Drop my net. Leave it all behind. Cross before me, world behind. No turning back. Masks off. Mess & all. Not doubting the crazy dream, vision or seeds He planted in my heart long ago. Even when against all odds & by human sight it made no sense & yes I wrestled as Jacob did "I will not let you go until you bless me." My flesh not wanting to let go or die. But whom shall we go to My Lord for you have the Words of Eternal life.-John 6:68 Whom have I in heaven but you God, there is none on this earth I desire beside you Lord. My heart & my flesh may fail but you are the strength & my portion forever-Psalm 73:25-26 


I will not let go, but I will go, I will follow, but I will not let go...of You Jesus. Isaiah 6:8 means here am I. My heart, my life, my plans, my desires. And my answer is yes before you ask Lord. Even before you answer a yes or no-my answer is yes to you. It's so bittersweet a painful kind of beautiful surrender of refining that's unexplainable at times. You can feel complete and utter devastation while simultaneously feeling the greatest deepest most fulfilling joy you've ever known. It's not "one or the other" when it comes to God or Kingdom or life for that matter. Massive growing pains. Sanctification. Obedience and trust. Failures and face plants. His grace dripping all over it all and realizing how much it's all Him and not you. His power. His Good Plans. His glory. His control (just breathe) His mercy. Knowing Him more deeply. Being known the most intimately and loved wildly and relentlessly. You just gotta go when He says go and let the Holy Spirit define it for you-not anyone else. No matter what the naysayers are sayin and they will. When HE alone has spoken to you in your heart of hearts and in the secret place, in His Word and by His Spirit-Trust. Walk by faith. His timing is crazy. It tends to be 11th hour for me bc HE wants to build my trust. Oh and my trust has been broken and shattered many times in this world. He knows it will take much to repair and rebuild that which was lost. And He is my first love. He will stop He will stop at nothing to rewrite that story. Heal those wounds. I won't be abandoned in the rewriting and redeeming and healing of it all as He cradles me in this sacred trust fall. He is making all things new. I won't be forsaken. He is growing that mustard seed of my faith. With each step and leap I take without knowing and just letting my Daddy lead the way. He is a good Father and that's all I need to know. And so begins a very exciting new journey with my Father God.












  

Now Is The Time

Redding, Ca and Bethel Church have been on my heart and mind for a very long time. Apparently longer than I even realized. I thought it started on this trip, at this moment, at one of the most epic coffee shop's -- (and I don't say that trendy word lightly) Daylight Mind (pictured below).  It overlooks the beautiful Hawaiian ocean, in Kona.  I was visiting a very dear sister who was in her first term at YWAM.  So here the story begins...or so I thought...


  

Hannah and Holly on our way to our daily Daylight Mind Jesus, Coffee, Journal, Bible, morning times 
I remember sitting there with my journal in the mornings and some afternoons with Hannah after sessions with Holly at Ywam and just looking out at this massive expansive ocean and asking God...what next?  I could see His amazing love and grace tidal waving down upon me with each wave that came crashing against the massive rocks beneath me.  We would read His Word and ponder all the speakers notes from the day and the adventures we were on together in Kona and all God was speaking to each of our hearts and share them together.  


It was a destiny trip if I ever had one.  I wrote down..."Bethel?  School of Ministry?  Is that next God?  Where do you want me?"  I knew it was a strong tug...but the timing did not seem right.  The seed had been firmly planted in the soil of my heart though and God was going to take His time patiently watering and growing, equipping, and strengthening each root for a solid foundation.  It seems really crazy in hindsight but not really thought because, "Many are the plans of a man's (woman's) heart, but the Lord determines (her) steps."- Proverbs 16:9 My plans seemed to be going one way and His were this all along, they were this the whole time.  Little did I know.  How cool is that though?!  All I have to do now is step into them?  Submit to His will and His best follows. Seems simple right?  Well should be. Our emotions can get in the way sometimes.  So fast forward three years later and I am at WorshipU-- life-changing two weeks of my forever!  More on that later.  God is literally saying.  I got you right where I want you girl.  Oh boy.  I can feel it.  That seed is turning into a giant oak tree. Right before my eyes and there is nothing I can do but watch it grow grow grow and display HIS splendor and majesty and mystery. I want more...MORE GOD.  


Lookey here...




Date marked Feb 2014. Okay so I guess it was four years ago I was already interested and reaching out to Bethel. Very interesting. But let's be real.  God places desires in our hearts before the foundations of the earth, when He forms us in our mother's wombs.  Amazing how it all comes into fruition though...a beautiful and glorious unfolding.  He can see the whole extraordinary mosaic, we only see a small little pixel at a time, right in front of us and sometimes even that is foggy.  Just keep trusting and obeying.  One foot in front of the next.  Following the leader.  He illuminates the path before us.  His Word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto our path.- Psalm 119:105.  I can remember so clearly coming back from Kona and feeling like I was in the cave with Jesus, like David.  He was hiding me beneath the shadow of His wings.  Rooting those seeds deeply and even though it felt dark and I wasn't quite sure what the next step was-- I didn't have the Godly vision yet-- He was still working on watering and growing and needed to work on me a whole lot in the beauty from ashes process.  I wrote down in my journal several times in bold print NOW IS THE TIME.  June 8th 2015 




I kept hearing NOW IS THE TIME tugging on my heart from God, but was not sure what all it meant or necessarily entailed.  I just felt the weight of it and how seriously He was taking this process of sanctification and heart preparation.  Then fast forward three years later, as I am driving up the hill to Bethel's campus going to WorshipU one morning-- I look over at the church signage and there it is. NOW IS THE TIME of God's favor, today is the day of salvation."- 2 Corinthians 6:2.  Whew.  I got chills.  I was already seeking the Lord deeply and singing my prayers to Him on the drive over to school (some of my favorite times with Him ever are in the car and on the drives).  At this pointed I started to cry, because that was the only day I had looked over at the church sign.  The next day I looked again because I wanted to take a picture of it, but they changed it.  Duh- they change it daily.  Which made it that much more valuable that God had me look at it that very day, that very MOMENT,-- driving up the hill to Bethel, school of Worship-- the seed He started revealing to me in 2014 and that He planted in my heart when He knit me together.  What a God, what Father! What extravagant love, and stories He unfolds for His glory.  Oh this is just the beginning...I have so many more God stories to share--- but you can tell where this is leading I am sure.  So much more to come.  I can't write it all in one sitting.  I have tried and the task is overwhelming.  It feels like a novel, so my grandma ever so sweetly gave me some wisdom bombs and took the pressure off.  She reminded me I can just share little by little.  One post at a time-- they will all tie together.  Very similar to God's big beautiful mosaic. So here is a little glimpse of a pixel for now.  He is piecing it all, and I can't wait to get back and write more and witness of His GREATNESS, GOODNESS, LOVE and MIRACLES!  Clearly He is rocking my world and I want to share and praise Him and give Him some major GLORY -- all the glory He deserves because I cannot contain or keep this to myself!!! "We are not meant to contain the glory" - Bill Johnson 
Love always, Mal