Ask Seek Knock
Many people have been asking me how I finally made the decision to move to Alabama. Well it was a long hard process...100% As the Lord leads. Such a BIG decision must be handled with much care and thought. I did not want to make an impulsive decisions and I especially did not want to be walking in Malorie's will...no, no. I wanted to make sure I was in God's will, as Malorie's will is not a safe place to be but God's will is THE safest place I could ever be. So in order to truly know it was God's will for me to move across the country, I had to "ask, seek, knock" prayerfully. Bottom line, I had to take everything to God in prayer and petition, seek His word, Ask Him personally, and keep persistently pursuing His Truth and plan for me. I seriously went on a treasure hunt in the Bible, seeking knowledge of His will for me the power to carry that out. Prayer and meditation and reflection...I did not take this lightly by any means. Obedience and reverence of the Lord came in very handy. Also quieting down and listening. Not listening to all the noise and voices of the world and it's people...but honing in on the ONE true voice. Honing in on the TRUTH...on THE WAY.
I got together with a friend and shared some of my findings. She shared some verses with me that she thought might help in my decisions making process. I literally took verse after verse and picked them apart, making them personalized for my very situation. For instance: Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you will be able to test and approve God's will." If I were to stay in California what patterns of this world would I be conforming to? If I were to move what patterns of the world would I be conforming to? Is the decision fear driven or faith driven? Patterns: approval addiction, people pleasing, fear of failure, plain old fear, comfort zone vs. leap of faith...etc. Hopefully this is not too confusing and you get the point.
Essentially I was at the crossroads for quite sometime before I truly knew God's will. It took me about five months to make the final decision. I finally got really serious as I was tired of the lingering limbo of my life and wanted some peace. "The peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind" Phil. 4:7. I knew I had to dig deeper and knock harder if I wanted to get an answer. You know you are at a crossroads when there is no underlying peace within you about going left OR right. Staying in Cali had no peace and moving to Bama had not peace...thus I was at the crossroads waiting for the signal of which way to go. I analyzed Jeremiah 6:16 "The Lord said, 'stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where THE GOOD WAY is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." Well that pretty much says it all. I broke it down though. At the crossroads, I looked left (cali) and right (Alabama). I asked for the ancient paths (the tried and true paths of the desert mother and fathers, the first disciples). I searched for the good WAY (He is THE WAY) and then got up and walked in it. But only after the renewing of my mind could I know the will of God and test and approve His WAY. I had to be somewhat of a monk in a monastery for a week and just hole up and quiet down. Take myself out of the world and into HIS Word.
"Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:7-9
Afraid or not I picked up my mat and walked with God. I will go anywhere with you daddy! God is my spiritual Father. I will follow Him anywhere he leads me.
"Peter said to him, 'We have left all we had to follow you!' I tell you the truth,' Jesus said to them, 'no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come-eternal life." Luke 18:28-29
Two more scripture that played a key role:
No prophet is accepted in his hometown. Luke 4:24
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
And believe me there were many many more...this is just the tip of the iceberg. So you see, it was a very long process between me and God. At the end of the day He is the ultimate authority. He finally gave me the underlying peace, I was not longer at the crossroads, I finally had an answer from God himself. Malorie's choice was obviously much more comfortable, but God's choice gives true peace. Comfort is fleeting, but true peace from God cannot be taken from you or swayed by this world's madness and chaos. Even in all the chaos and fears of the journey here, I survived it because the peace of God was the solid rock I was standing on. It cannot be moved. He is in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea. "There's a raging sea right in front of me wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees, so let the waters rise if you want them to, I will follow you, I will follow YOU."