Mercy

He put this hole in us, this void for a reason. So that we would crave more. More than this world has to offer. I love God more than I love this world. "If I find in myself, desires nothing in this world can satisfy. I can only conclude that I, I was not made for here." A leader is someone who is not content just staying where they are at...meaning, they want to be continually moving forward, growing, maturing, challenging themselves. Constantly looking for opportunities and ways to glorify the Lord. Sometimes that hole in us-that is aching, is a way that God puts fuel to the fire of our hearts. He sets our hearts ablaze, burning for what His heart burns for. I have been praying for quite some time that the Lord would continue to break my heart for what breaks His.

The other night I took a spiritual gifts test at Highlands. #3 was Mercy. Hmm...I think that is answered prayer!!! The gift of mercy breaks my heart for what breaks His. Wow! So thankful for this gift, it is not mine, I do not own it...it is just on loan to me for however long the Lord allots. I pray to cultivate it and nurture and grow it. He entrusted it to me-even if just for today. All the hardships and heart-breaks I have walked through...all along have been the makings of the gift of mercy in this earthly vessel. Gratitude!!! Then I realized that my great-grandmother's name was Mercy. I have always had this fascination with grandma Mercy. I have just heard some amazing stories about her life and her heart. She may have been the beginning of the salvation lineage in my family...not sure. But I know for sure she had a HUGE part in it. Thank you Grandma Mercy for believing...and passing that along. Her descendants shall be blessed for many generations because she believed. "Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness" Gen. 15:6. Mercy. "The promise comes by faith" Romans 4:16.

Reasons to Give Thanks!!!

Well I guess God did not want me to take my blessings for granted so He put me in a situation where I would have no choice but to truly, humbly give HIM so much thanks and praise!!! I got locked out of my house on Thanksgiving morning. No spare key, no car keys, no roommate (out of town), no wallet...nothing. Had not even taken a shower yet...was just going for a nice morning walk. Once I realized I was locked out I looked under ever pot, nook and cranny of the house that I could find. Nothing. I went through other people's backyards to get to my backyard, only to find...nothing. No key, no way in. I went back to the front porch and just sat down and cried. I cried out to God. I remembered reading in one of my daily devotional readings, that 'when you are in a tight spot, to call out to God and also speak forth that you trust Him to come through for you.' So I said out loud "God I trust you. I trust that you will never leave me or forsake me, it is written, you said! I trust that you will make a way where there is no way. I trust that you will turn this around and use this for good, for you glory. I trust that you will get be safe and sound and back into my house. Lord I trust you. I am your daughter in Jesus Name" Then I cried a little more after making more phone calls to Jaime's friends and my mom. Right before I was about to call a locksmith, which surely would be expensive and timely on Thanksgiving Day...my neighbor walked out to take the trash out. Having never really met him before, I hesitated to say anything, but my heart tugged at me. So I just threw it out there. "Is there any chance you know how to break into a house?" "Why yes!" He said cheerfully...ready to come to the rescue! I was shocked and wasn't sure I could believe it until I saw it..but that's what faith is, so I believed. He grabbed something (a secret between him and I now) and he showed me how to break in. I guess he's gotten locked out a couple times, so he knew exactly what to do. It was simple. God keeps is simple yet it is a miracle all at the same time. WOW! The door pops open and tears of JOY just stream down my face. I hugged him and thanked him profusely. I also thanked Jesus profusely. I am giving HIM all my thanks!!!!! WOW! He will put you in a place where all you can do is sing His praises and offer up true pure-hearted thanksgiving to Him. And so I am!

He was the only one that could have really saved me from all this...not my mom, not my roommate or her friends...at the end of the day, prayer was the answer. It is the ONE thing that changes everything!!!!! He is the answer always, He can do all things. With man it is impossible but with God all things are possible!!!! He proves it time and time again!!!!

Mailman for God : )

If you look at someone and think to yourself, surely that person does not need encouragement, reassurance or extra love...chances are that-that person needs it the most. We are God's hands and feet, and His love is made perfect in us...so His reassurance and love and grace messages often times come in the form of a human being (vessel) around us. Are you available and sensitive to His spirit calling you to let HIM speak and love through you? Don't ever look at anyone and think, "Oh they already know how great they are, or they totally know how much God loves them." Don't judge a book by it's cover. Some of the most "confident, happy, outgoing" people are the one's that need it the most. You never know what is behind that smile. Why not take the leap and love them MORE, encourage them MORE...what's the worst that could happen?

All I know is that the Lord has spoken to me through other people, and I thank God that those people were listening to His voice and were obedient to that calling. Since God's power is in our weakness, the one's that seem "powerful" may just be the most weak-as you are seeing HIS power shine through them. He does this so that we would not boast of anything or think that the power is coming from us; He gets all the glory. You never know what that one text message, call, letter, hug...etc means-especially when it is hand delivered from the Lord through YOU. The words we speak over someone can carry life and hope to them at a most dire moment. Not flattery, but a sincere word of encouragement spoken in Truth with a pure heart. God promises to meet His children's needs, and you just may be the UPS carrier today!

Reflect and Respond

This ministered to me so much this morning, from a book I am reading right now about ministry and true freedom from bondage

"If emotions can be teachers sent from God, it is perhaps the family of feelings around sadness-loneliness, hurt, discouragement, depression...that are the greatest teachers of all"

As I thought about my response to a request on the phone, I became aware I said yes because I didn't want to appear selfish. I can value myself enough to say, '[No.] I want and need _________.' Fill in the blank. 'Henri Nouwen once remarked that we ought to spend 50 percent of our time living our lives and the other 50 percent reflecting on what is being lived. Thinking is an ability given solely to human beings made in God's image. This gift enables us to respond to our feelings thoughtfully rather than to react hastily. We are to feel our feelings, but we are not always to follow them. The writer of Proverbs states, "Desire without knowledge is not good-how much more will hasty feet miss the way'" Prov.14:8

"One way to develop awareness of feelings is to keep a journal. This was a foundational discipline for me as I began to exercise long dormant 'feeling' muscles. Three to four times a week, I paused to reflect on the feelings I had experienced that day. During those 'feeling' workouts in my journal, I began to strengthen my awareness of what I was truly feeling. Over time, I got better at identifying my feelings in the moment so I didn't have to wait until later to acknowledge and express them. I also experienced greater freedom and peace from inner turmoil bc I was no longer suppressing or devaluing myself"(111)

"I paid attention to what was happening in the movements of my heart, revealing where I was depending on the approval of people for my value and worth instead of God's all-encompassing love"(109) Examining the root of our fears is important spiritual work. Fears about our value, worth, and lovability surface that are crucial for our transformation into the love and freedom God longs to grant us...We are not to deny our fears. In fact God invites us to identify them" and move through them with His power(106-7)

God is definitely putting me through the fire! I consider this pure JOY that cannot be stolen from me! The Joy of the Lord is my strength and I hold on to that!!! One day at a time. Discernment is one of the hardest for me! I am really trying to hone in and get quiet and listen to His still small voice. I want His direction and HIS path. There are thousands of options all the time, and my heart wants to do them all...but the enemy warps that by trying to get me to "over-function." So I am dying to the flesh -people-pleasing, approval addiction and learning what TRUE freedom in Christ is.

"Scripture...considers grieving losses as central to our spiritual growth"

It is a painful process and sometimes feels like a death...I have to mourn over it...mourn over that part of my "identity" as I die to that and am found NEW in His identity. He is refining, purifying and strengthening me for whatever is next. I am learning who Malorie really is...without all that other stuff that used to define, control and imprison me. I am realizing that one of my biggest ministry's is my recovery program...God is having me mentor a few girls and that has been amazing! I know it'll all tie together. Design=destiny...how we are designed, illumines our destiny.

Giving Thanks!

THANK YOU Grandma!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!!

Joyfully Ever After!

You know how when you are in love with someone they see the best in you and you see the best in them? They see you in a way that no one else sees you-as they accept the good bad and ugly all as beautiful qualities about you. Well this is the way that God sees you when He looks at you. Fearfully and Wonderfully made...created in His image. Joyfully Ever After! : )

I pray that when you look in the mirror you see God, as you bear His image. His glory is in you and His reflection shines through you...

Blessed are the pure of heart, they shall SEE God. Greater is HE that is within you than he that is in the world. You are a carrier of His Almighty presence. He dwells within your sacred heart.

"God is within her she will not fall; God will help her at break of day" Psalm 46:5

"The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord." Psalm 45:11

Some truths that say it better than I can

Obedience always requires sacrifice, but sacrifice is not always obedience.

Be willing to walk in obedience...setting the boundary and risking everything but in the end gaining your soul. You might lose the friendship, job, reputation or approval...but God anoints obedience. Though it may take some time, after you have suffered a little while, God Himself will restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise. 2 Peter 3:9.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God- Romans 8:14(NIV)

"I need to love to be in harmony with my family. I need to love to keep myself surrounded by friends. I even need to love to work my job! How important it is to love and to live at peace with everyone!"

"This arrow pierced my heart so deeply that the walls of my heart became impenetrable. I've not allowed this wound to be touched for many, many years. God has shown me that because of the defensiveness I buried my truly feminine heart which longs so deeply to be pursued and fought for, to be seen as beautiful. Risk being vulnerable once again...stand now in this risky place of vulnerability with a bleeding heart waiting and praying. Every day I must choose to lay down my defensiveness...allowing God to be my Strength and my Defender. He told me that I didn't need to defend myself anymore, that was his job, he is my Defender and Advocate."-Captivating

Softening my heart and gently tending its wounds will protect me. Building a fortress and defending myself behind it will only make me more vulnerable.-Captivating

The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but not its end.

"The Bible opens and closes with a wedding."- Selwyn Hughes

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, thy consolations delight my soul.-Psalm 94:19(NASB)